Low self esteem is known as the self-fulfilling prediction that makes you feel worse about who you are and what you do. It makes you feel less motivated about your own actions and achievements. This situation certainly puts you in a cycle of negative thoughts and keeps your mind indulged in damaging beliefs.
So how can you stop getting into this cruel cycle and start moving towards a positive direction? For that, you first need to deeply understand the meaning of self esteem and how it affects your personality. Once you understand it, you need to start following a process of building your self esteem as it won’t happen overnight. That’s why we have brought this guide that will help you know what self esteem is and how to build it.
What is Self Esteem?
You may already have a little idea about self-esteem, but let’s start from the beginning and then dive into more details. Self esteem is generally how you feel about yourself or the views you have about yourself. It is a sense of your own values or worth and how you measure them. In simple terms, it is a favorable or unfavorable attitude towards yourself.
Self esteem comes into picture when you feel a bit low or have a hard time believing in yourself. If this feeling sticks with you for a long time, there can be mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. So it is often the result of your life experiences and particularly what happened with you as a kid or an adult. Apart from life experiences, here are some factors that are believed to influence the self esteem of a person:
- Personality
- Genetics
- Health
- Age
- Social Circumstances
- Thoughts
- Comparing self to others
- Reaction of other people
You need to understand that self esteem is never fixed. It is malleable and measurable so you can test your self esteem level and build it. Let us now move towards the different ways in which you can build your self esteem.
Different Ways to Build Self Esteem :
1. Identify your negative thoughts and challenge them :
The first step towards improving your self esteem is to identify your negative thoughts and challenge them. Try to notice your thoughts about yourself and see whether they are positive or negative. For instance, if you find yourself thinking that ‘I am not smart enough to do anything’ or ‘I have no close friends’, then look for proof that contradicts these statements. Note down your statements and the actual facts happening in your life. Whenever these same thoughts hit you again, remind yourself that these negative thoughts about yourself are untrue.
2. Point out positive things about yourself :
The next thing to build your self esteem is to write down positive things about yourself. It could be anything like any nice thing that people have said about you or being good at specific activities. And whenever you start to feel demotivated or low, you can look back at these lines and remind yourself that there are several good things about you.
This positive internal dialogue plays a key role in improving your self esteem. So next time if you catch yourself saying things like ‘I am a failure’, or ‘I’m not good enough for this’, start turning the things around by saying ‘I can become more confident and challenge my fears in a positive way’ or ‘I can do it’. In the beginning, it will be difficult for you to adapt to this transformation, but with regular effort, you can start feeling more positive about yourself and build your self esteem.
3. Avoid negative relationships and build positive ones :
There will be several people in your life that make you feel better about yourself than others. So make sure you maintain a strong bond with them as they will help you grow. On the other hand, try to avoid relationships with people that make you feel bad about yourself and hamper your mental health. Doing this will ultimately bring positive thoughts in your mind and avoid the negative ones.
4. Take a break whenever you feel :
Life changes every second, so you don’t have to be perfect every hour of the day. Besides, you don’t have to feel good about yourself every time. Your self esteem will vary for different situations, from day to day and hour to hour. For instance, you might feel positive and relaxed when surrounded by friends and family but get uncomfortable and shy with strangers. Sometimes, you might feel totally in command of yourself at work or home but struggle with social interactions or vice versa. Thus, take a break whenever you feel because everyone deals with hard times, and it is essential to take some time off in such situations.
You should also remember to be kind to yourself and avoid criticizing yourself because doing so will reinforce your negative thoughts. Instead, give yourself a treat whenever you succeed at something difficult as it will boost your self esteem and make you feel good about yourself.
5. Learn to say no and try to become more assertive :
If you have low self esteem, you might find it difficult to stand up for yourself and say no to others. It means that you often become overburdened at work or home because you don’t like to refuse anyone for anything. But doing this will increase your stress levels and make it hard to manage your life. That is when you need to become more assertive as it helps build your self esteem. Besides, acting as if you believe in yourself also helps you increase your self belief.
6. Work on your physical health :
Being fit and healthy ultimately makes you feel good about yourself. But with low self esteem, people often ignore themselves as they feel that they don’t deserve to be looked after. So if you want to build your self esteem, try to exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep. You can also take some time to relax and indulge in something you like to do instead of doing what others expect you to do. Such simple changes can make a huge difference in your life and overall outlook.
7. Accept challenges :
People with low self esteem tend to avoid challenges and difficulties, but this furthers decreases their confidence and self belief. Thus, you need to take different challenges to build your self esteem. It doesn’t mean that you have to do everything on your own, you can seek some help when you need it, but you should be prepared enough to tackle the difficulties. Once you succeed, you will feel confident and happy about yourself. Taking different challenges will ultimately help you remove negative thoughts and build your self esteem.
Conclusion :
Improving your self esteem will require you to be confident and inspired by your actions and achievements, so make sure you follow these directions and work on it.
